I am superwoman! I ran around Makati at lunchbreak today in my heels and floral blouse, split between two jobs, and with spare time to inhale a hotdog sandwich and give the bf a noontime kiss. Now I'm back in the office, contemplating on pushing through with a long-held plan that might hasten my professional development, or throw me down that chasm of shame which I've managed to avoid for at least a couple of years (whew). Last week I met with some old friends, albeit very briefly. Yesterday my adviser texted and recommended that I present my proposal at the forum on April 26. This weekend I'll be saving mangroves and wildlife in Puerto Galera, and next week I'll be in Davao slugging it out with DILG and LGU officials. Yeah baby this is it.
When your life (or a minute part of it) is laid out before you in full view, your lungs sort of expand, and you sense a prolonged tingle in your chest. It's a breathless instant, and suddenly you feel heady.
You want it all. Sure you do. You think, this is how's it's meant to be. You can see everything clearly. You mark your mental to-do list, each item checked with a flourish. You think, hey, my life plan seems to be working out after all.
Then you seriously hope that your resident creature of gloom doesn't stick its furry face out again and start gnawing at your insides, posioning you with self-doubt. No, no, because if it does you'd have to bring in Rainbow Brite and some of fhe Care Bears to wash away the darkness in the pit of your stomach. They'd be glad to oblige, they always are, but they're much too busy now with people who have real fears. So you shut up and prod on.
Are you still breathless? Or just tired and out of breath?
Sigh. See, I just rained on my own parade. Classic.
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